Learning to Trust in Him…

You all sure do know how to make a me feel extremely loved and encouraged… =)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers, emails, and the many comments you have left in the past week.  You will never know how much they truly mean to me and the rest of my family.  I honestly don’t really know where to start…  The past few days have been a complete blur to me.  Our lives have truly been turned upside down in the past week, but God has been faithful. I know it’s going to take time, but all week we’ve had to keep telling ourselves that mom is NOT coming back this time… and it hurts. 

I miss her beautiful smile.

I miss hearing her laugh in the next room.

I miss her voice.

  I miss her instructions.

I dreadfully miss my amazing mother and her wisdom.

I lost my mom and one of my best friends last Sunday.  We were so very close and we did almost everything together. She was such a wonderful mother and I am so proud to have had a little more than 16 years of my life with her.  She was there to bring me into the world and I was right beside her during her last few minutes of life on this earth.  I stayed in the room with her for a little while before she passed away, but I couldn’t last any longer in there when she was gasping to breathe and stay alive.  I wanted to reach out and help her somehow, but I couldn’t do anything!  I was scared, sad, and excited for her all at the same time.  I knew that she was about to meet our Savior, but I wanted her to stay here and be my mom too.  It was a strange feeling to say the least…

I had already said my goodbyes earlier that afternoon and I felt okay with the last memory I had with my wonderful mom.  She knew I was there and she squeezed my hand.  I think that the only reason that I felt so at peace with everything was because we had all slowly prepared for this time throughout her whole two year journey of fighting lung cancer.  I can also say that we all definitely felt your prayers that evening.  I’m not going to say that it wasn’t hard to see mom taken away from us, though.  God had a plan for mom when he created her and He was finished with her life on Sunday.  She was ready to meet Him too.  She was so peaceful and she actually smiled a few times while Daddy (and mom’s best friend) were in the room with her…just minutes before she passed away.  We all wish we knew why she smiled.  I like to imagine what was happening during those moments.  I know that she is home with Jesus right now, and there is no more pain or suffering where she is right now.  I believe that she is resting in the arms of our Father.  She is happy now and she doesn’t have to worry about anything.I also know that we are going to be fine.  God is going to give us the strength that we need to go through this time in our lives too.  He wouldn’t give us anything that He didn’t think we could handle and He already knew this was going to happen.  We are trusting in Him and taking each day as it comes right now.  We grieve for our loss because we loved her so very much.  We are starting a new chapter in our lives and it’s going to be hard at times, but we are going to make it.  I have no doubt because God is NOT going to leave us.

We had mom’s visitation on Tuesday and her funeral on Wednesday of this week.  They were just perfect for her.  She always said that she wanted her funeral to be a time where people celebrated her life and I think she would have been happy with the way it turned out.  She touched so many people throughout her life and it definitely showed because the love and support on those days were absolutely amazing.   We’re overwhelmed by how many people our family has touched during the past week.  Isn’t it neat to see God at work around us?  He has already used mom and our family to encourage so many other Christians! It is so amazing.

"He will call on me, and I will answer him; 

I will be with him in trouble, 

I will deliver him and honor him." ~Psalm 91:15

We are so blessed and thankful for the people around us during this difficult time.  Thank you again for the love and support for our family. 

Much Love,
Emily